Is bad behaviour relevant in divorce?

Since April 2022, the introduction of no-fault divorce has transformed the landscape of divorce law.

Now, neither spouse is required to prove blame or bad behaviour – such as adultery or unreasonable conduct – to initiate divorce proceedings. Either party or both together can simply declare that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

Is bad behaviour ever relevant?

While bad behaviour is not necessary to start a divorce, it can occasionally affect the division of assets – but only in cases of exceptional misconduct. This includes:

• Recklessly depleting marital assets

• Hiding financial resources

• Economic misconduct, such as fraud or gambling away joint funds

In such cases, the court may adjust the division of assets to compensate the other spouse.

Additionally, if one partner controls the other’s finances or restricts their ability to work, the affected party might receive a more favourable settlement. However, the Courts generally focus on a fair division based on needs and resources, not blame.

Bad behaviour in children cases

When children are involved, bad behaviour becomes more significant. Issues like domestic abuse, substance misuse, or neglect can heavily influence where the child is to reside. The court’s primary concern remains the best interests of the child, not punishing the offending parent.

Courts may:

• Restrict or supervise parental contact

• Deny contact entirely in extreme cases

• Mandate supervised visits for parents with a history of violence

• Request testing or rehabilitation if substance misuse endangers the child

If one parent manipulates the child against the other, residence or contact arrangements may be adjusted.

Courts may limit or supervise contact, or in serious cases, deny contact altogether. For example, a parent with a history of violence may need to attend supervised visits.

How we can help you

We understand that navigating divorce law can be overwhelming and costly. At Divorce Solutions, our team of five experienced lawyers operates as divorce consultants rather than traditional solicitors.

Our focus is on:

• Simplifying the divorce process

• Avoiding costly mistakes

• Reducing tension and conflict

We leverage our experience to identify practical solutions that protect your interests and streamline the process.

Free initial consultation

If you – or someone you know – could benefit from expert guidance during a divorce, we offer a complimentary initial consultation. Feel free to reach out and discover how we can support you.

Silver linings: understanding the rise of late-life divorce

In recent years, the UK has witnessed a significant rise in divorces among older couples, often referred to as “silver separations” or “grey divorces.”

This trend is particularly pronounced among couples in their late 50s and early 60s, with the Office for National Statistics noting a 75% increase in divorces among couples in their sixties over the past twenty years. This phenomenon presents unique challenges, both financially and emotionally, that are distinct from divorces among younger couples.

Trends behind silver separations

Several factors contribute to the increasing number of silver separations:

1. Longer Lifespans and Changing Attitudes: Advances in healthcare have led to longer lifespans, allowing people to reassess their relationships and pursue happiness in their later years. Societal attitudes towards divorce have also softened, making it more acceptable for older couples to part ways.

2. Financial Independence: Many older women have achieved greater financial independence, reducing their reliance on their spouses and giving them the confidence to make life choices without economic constraints.

3. Increased Wealth: Couples in this age group often have accumulated significant wealth, including substantial pension funds and increased property values, making separation more financially viable.

Challenges of silver separations

While silver separations offer a chance for renewal, they also come with distinct challenges:

• Asset Division: The division of assets, particularly non-matrimonial assets such as inheritances or pre-marital property, can be contentious. Courts differentiate between matrimonial and non-matrimonial assets, but disputes often arise over whether certain assets should be included in the division.

• Pension and Retirement Planning: Pensions are typically considered marital assets and are subject to division during a divorce. This can significantly impact retirement plans, as the division of pensions may leave one or both parties with reduced financial security.

• Housing Needs: Decisions about the family home, whether to sell it or for one partner to retain it, can be complex and emotionally charged.

• Emotional and Social Challenges

• Emotional Impact: The end of a long-term marriage can be emotionally overwhelming, involving grief, anxiety about starting over, and potential separation from mutual friends and family.

• Impact on Adult Children: While older couples may not have to navigate child custody issues, their adult children can still be affected by the divorce, particularly if they are drawn into family conflicts or experience changes in family dynamics.

• Social Adjustments: Older individuals may face challenges in rebuilding social networks and adjusting to new social roles outside of the marriage.

Navigating silver separations

Given the complexities involved, it is crucial for older couples considering divorce to seek professional advice:

Legal Guidance: Understanding the legal framework regarding asset division and pension sharing is essential to ensure a fair settlement.

Financial Planning: Engaging financial advisors can help in reassessing retirement plans and ensuring that both parties are financially secure post-divorce.

Emotional Support: Accessing counselling or support groups can provide emotional support during this challenging time.

How we help: Divorce Solutions

We are a team of five experienced lawyers, but unlike a traditional firm, we work as divorce consultants.

• We guide you through the legal maze – ensuring you don’t make expensive errors.

• We help lower the temperature, making the process less stressful.

• We save you money by focusing on practical, cost-effective solutions rather than unnecessary legal battles.

Free consultation

If you’re considering divorce or know someone who might need guidance, let’s talk. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

Divorce numbers around the world

Here’s a question for you. Which country in the world has the most divorces per capita of population and, when considering your reply, bear in mind that England and Wales (at around 3 per 1,000 people), do not feature anywhere near the top of the list.

Figures produced in 2021 show that the countries with the highest divorce rates per 1,000 people, are the Maldives (5.52), Kazakstan (4.6), Russia (4.4), and Belarus and Belgium at (3.7). In fact the Maldives were awarded a Guinness World Record for the highest divorce rate on record in 2002, with 10.97 divorces per 1,000 Maldivians. This was over twice as high as the second highest divorce rate ever recorded. Those countries with the lowest rates are India (0.01), Mozambique (0.04), Kenya (0.06), Zimbabwe (0.07) and Vietnam (0.2).

There are many reasons for the variance in figures; culture, religion, accessibility to divorce, attitudes to pre and post marital sex and single parenthood, female emancipation, economics and the response to global crisis like covid.

In the western world, because of more liberal attitudes and the financial cost of a wedding, there has also been a decline in the number of people getting married. Indeed, it is reported that by 2050, the annual number of marriages in the UK could fall below 200,000. Predicting the continuation of the current downward trend, the figure is expected to fall to around 175,137 representing a huge 28% decline from 2019.

Revisions to our legal system by the introduction of ‘no fault divorce’, plus a simple on-line process for applying for divorce and a legal directive requiring couples to consider processes that provide non-court divorce resolution are slowly beginning to change the face of divorce. The objective is that only the most acrimonious of cases will end up in court.

However, without knowing how to navigate the legal maze it is easy to make the wrong and expensive decisions and that’s where we help.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

Grandparents’ rights

With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce and approximately 100,000 divorces occurring each year, the ripple effects extend far beyond the immediate family. Grandparents, who often provide stability and love to their grandchildren, can find themselves caught in the crossfire.

This newsletter explores how grandparents can navigate the challenges of maintaining these vital relationships and understand their rights when family tensions arise.

Research by the University of Oxford highlights that strong relationships with grandparents can foster a sense of security and emotional well-being in children, particularly during times of family upheaval.

If parents are divorcing, then, for the sake of maintaining a relationship with the grandchildren, grandparents should try to remain neutral but, of course that is not always possible. Indeed, even if they do try to be neutral, the son or daughter-in-law may still regard them as the ‘enemy’ and restrict or try to prevent their involvement with the grandchildren. If that occurs, what can be done?

Obviously the first thing to do, is for the grandparents to try to create a dialogue with their in-law and resolve any issues. However, if help is needed, mediation can be a good way forward and, if appropriate, child inclusive mediation may be helpful.

If all else fails and, whilst grandparents have no absolute right to see their grandchildren, it is possible for grandparents to make an application to the court for permission to have contact with their grandchildren. As would be expected, the courts primary concern is what is in the grandchildren’s best interest. A history of regular contact and a close and loving relationship between grandchildren and grandparents will carry weight and be taken into account

Grandparents can benefit from connecting with others who are going through similar situations, as shared experiences often provide comfort and a sense of solidarity. For example, Grandparents Plus (UK) offers a dedicated support network and advice for grandparents dealing with estrangement or family separation.

Prioritising self-care is equally important. Engaging in activities that bring joy, spending time with supportive friends or family members, and focusing on maintaining a positive outlook can make a significant difference. The path to preserving relationships with grandchildren may be challenging, but having access to compassionate support systems can help grandparents navigate these complexities with hope and strength.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

A sea change in the divorce world? The divorce landscape is changing for the better

Since 2007, we have been at the forefront of making divorce less painful and more cost-effective. Now, a significant shift in the legal landscape is aligning with our long-standing mission.

New family procedure rules: a game changer

The introduction of new Family Procedure Rules in 2024 marks a turning point in divorce proceedings. These rules strongly promote Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR) methods, including:

• Mediation

• Collaborative law

• Arbitration

• Neutral evaluation

Key changes and their impact

• Mandatory NCDR Consideration: Courts can now require parties to report their views on using NCDR methods.

• Flexible Proceedings: Judges can adjourn cases to allow for NCDR processes.

• Financial Incentives: Courts can penalise parties who refuse to engage in NCDR, by making them responsible for the other party’s legal fees.

The benefits of NCDR. NCDR is intended to:

• Reduce emotional stress

• Lower costs

• Provide faster resolutions and

• Provide better outcomes for all concerned

In summary, the Courts can now direct that the parties set out their views on using NCDR, and Judges can adjourn proceedings to allow NCDR to take place.

Also, contrary to the usual position (where parties are responsible for their own legal fees), as a further incentive to engage in NCDR, the Courts can penalise parties who refuse to or prevaricate in trying to resolve matters by NCDR, by making them responsible for the other party’s legal fees.

These measures, which we welcome and which are now beginning to permeate the divorce world, are partly an acknowledgement that for far too long the adversarial nature of divorce has been extremely expensive and damaging to the parties and their children.

It is also a response to funding cuts which have resulted in the courts being overwhelmed by the number of cases they are required to deal with. NCDR will hopefully result in more cases being settled without ending up in court.

Our approach: comprehensive divorce consultation

At our consultancy, we believe in exploring all options before proceeding with divorce:

1. Marriage Preservation: We encourage couples to consider counselling if there’s a desire to save the marriage.

2. Options: If divorce is inevitable, we guide clients through the various NCDR and other processes that are available to identify the best route for them.

3. Legal Navigation: Our team of experienced lawyers act as consultants, helping clients avoid costly mistakes and find amicable solutions.

Take the first step towards a smoother divorce

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

Where there’s a will there’s a way to protect your loved ones

In case you die after marrying or divorcing make sure your will is up to date, as otherwise your estate may end up in the wrong hands….

Beware, as the rules regarding the effect on wills of marriage and divorce are not straightforward and if you get it wrong it can have far-reaching and unintended consequences.

The first point to note is, that if you marry or enter into a civil partnership any existing will automatically becomes of no effect.

Therefore, unless you make a new will, your estate will be distributed in accordance with the rules of intestacy. In general terms, these rules provide that your husband, wife or civil partner will receive the first £322,000 of your estate, plus your personal possessions and half of the rest of your estate.

The other half, above £322,000, will pass to your children (not stepchildren), and if you have no children, your husband, wife or civil partner will receive everything.

That may not be as you intended, for example your children may be young and you may want your other half to have everything or, in the case of a second marriage where there are children from your first marriage, you may want your children to have everything.

The second point is, what happens if you marry or enter into a civil partnership and make a new will, but you then divorce, or your civil partnership is dissolved. In this case, your will remains valid, but your ex is treated as if they had died at the point you became divorced, or your civil partnership was dissolved.

Accordingly, if your Will doesn’t say what is to happen to the share of your estate that you left to your ex, the rules on intestacy will apply and the part of your estate that you left to your ex, could end up being distributed to people that you had not intended to benefit.

Therefore, as soon as you decide to divorce or to dissolve your civil partnership make a new will.

Don’t wait until the divorce or dissolution goes through many months later. In the worst of all scenarios, if you were to die before the divorce or dissolution goes through the position is that, as you are still married your will remains valid, and consequently your estate may end up passing to the very last person that you intended!

Stepchildren can also complicate the process as they are not automatically entitled to inherit from a step-parent’s estate under UK intestacy rules unless they have been legally adopted by the step-parent. This means that if a step-parent dies without a will, their estate will be distributed according to intestacy laws, which do not recognise stepchildren as beneficiaries.

Furthermore, one needs to consider guardianship for minor children. Appointing a legal guardian through a will is vital to ensure that minor children are cared for by someone chosen by the parents rather than leaving this decision to the courts.

A final word here. If you are financially maintaining your ex after you are divorced or your civil partnership has been dissolved (in other words you are paying them maintenance), and you don’t include them in your will, they could potentially make a claim under the Inheritance Act.

A clean break (where no maintenance is paid), might protect against such a claim but not necessarily – for example where children still need to be maintained.

So, the message is that you should keep you will updated particularly if your circumstances change. If you intend to marry or have a civil partnership, any Will made before the event must state that it is made ‘in contemplation of that marriage or civil partnership’.

As always to avoidfar-reaching and unintended consequences, take professional advice.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants.  We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes.

We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

Divorce: “Should I stay or should I go now?”

When a relationship feels like it’s hitting all the wrong notes, it’s only natural to start thinking, “Should I stay, or should I go?”

Cue The Clash – ironic, isn’t it? Deciding to leave or stay brings a wave of questions and concerns: emotions, the kids, finances, and the unsettling unknown of what lies ahead. The key question which often comes up: should I move out?

Most lawyers will tell you not to. Normally, this is not because you will be giving up your share of the marital home or that you will otherwise face some financial penalty for doing so. It is because your other half will then be left living in the home with no incentive to sort out a settlement. This may result in their using tactics to delay or frustrate proceedings or a settlement and, even more so, when part of the settlement involves the sale of the marital home. And, even if a settlement is agreed and a court timetable is set for the sale of the home, that may not overcome this difficulty. Yes, ultimately the sale will take place but, in the meantime, you might lose a purchaser and who wants the delay and expense of having to go back to court to enforce an order for sale, because the estate agents or potential purchasers are being given the run around on the basis that all viewing times are ‘inconvenient’.

If you move out, you must obviously consider the financial implications. You will be paying for your new home and possibly also having to contribute towards the mortgage on the marital home (you remain liable if the mortgage is in joint names), plus maintenance for the children and maybe spousal maintenance as well. All of this depends on the financial position of the parties and every case is different. In an extreme case, where the remaining party must pay the mortgage, they might even argue for a larger settlement to compensate them. Where there is no suitable or affordable second home and parents want their children to experience as little disruption as possible, a comparatively recent idea is a ‘nesting’ arrangement. This involves renting a nearby property which the husband and wife use on alternate weeks whilst the other returns to be with the children in the marital home. This is not a straightforward solution but can work despite practical disadvantages concerning housekeeping issues and if another relationship is formed.

If the marital home is owned by your spouse and you move out, then to protect your interest you should register a Matrimonial Rights Act Notice at the Land Registry. That will have the effect of notifying a purchaser that you have an interest in the property and prevent the property from being sold without  your knowledge. If children are involved, moving out normally means you are going to see less of them. Although it may be difficult to have a discussion, if possible, before moving out try and agree when and how often you will see the children. This will also establish a pattern which will be important, if subsequently there is a dispute about how often you will see the children and how long they will stay with you. Finally, if you are moving out, this is the best time to take your possessions and anything else you want. Retrieving them later may prove a lot more difficult. Of course, living together may become intolerable and to defuse an already difficult situation it may be best for everyone that you do move out. However, before doing so, be aware of the implications and take advice. We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we
are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the
temperature and save money. If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

Why don’t more divorcees obtain a second opinion?

It is interesting that even though some divorcees may be unhappy with the advice or legal service they receive or the cost of it, it is very unusual for them to obtain a second opinion.

By comparison, in the medical world, patients often seek a second or even a third opinion before they decide what to do. As divorce is such a difficult and important time, and you only have one chance of ‘getting it right,’ it is strange that people do not trouble themselves with a second opinion. Here are some reasons for this:

• Concern about incurring additional legal costs

• Fear of upsetting their existing lawyer, despite dissatisfaction

• Reluctance to ‘start again’ with someone new

Overcoming the barriers:

• Cost Considerations: While legal fees can be a concern, obtaining a second opinion can be reassuring, needn’t cost a fortune and will hopefully save you money in the long run by ensuring your
  case is handled correctly. It’s important to weigh the second opinion cost against potential future savings or better outcomes.

• Maintaining Relationships: It’s understandable to worry about upsetting your current lawyer, but your primary concern should be ensuring the best possible outcome for your case. Professionals understand the value of second opinions, and a good lawyer will respect your decision to seek one.

• Ease of Transition: Starting with a new advisor doesn’t mean starting from scratch. Many professionals can review existing documents and give their opinion based on the current status of your case.

How to obtain a second opinion

You could consult another solicitor, but we favour Direct Access

Research your options:

• Look for Barristers Offering Direct Access: This approach allows you to consult a barrister directly without needing a solicitor’s referral. It’s cost-effective and efficient.

• Check Credentials: Ensure the barrister has experience and positive feedback in handling divorce cases that are like your case.

Understand the cost:

• Transparent Pricing: Direct Access Barristers normally have clear pricing structures. An opinion can usually be obtained for £1,000/£2,000 plus VAT, depending on case complexity and the barrister’s seniority.

• Value for Money: Remember that for technical advice, barristers are generally considered more knowledgeable and cost-effective than solicitors.

Manage the process:

• Prepare Your Documents: Organise your paperwork and provide a comprehensive overview of your case for the barrister to review.

• Confidentiality: You can seek a second opinion without informing your current solicitor, ensuring your existing relationship is not jeopardised.

Practical steps to instruct a direct access barrister at Divorce Solutions, we frequently assist clients in navigating this process:

• Contact Us: Reach out to discuss your needs and we can recommend suitable barristers.

• Documentation: We help collate and review your documents to ensure the barrister has the background story and all necessary information.

• Setting Up Meetings: We can arrange virtual or in-person meetings with the barrister to obtain their expert opinion.

Benefits of direct access

• Expertise: Barristers are technical experts, generally more familiar with the case law and current court attitudes than solicitors.

• Cost Efficiency: By bypassing the solicitor, you reduce duplication of effort and associated costs.

• Good Value: Barristers are generally less expensive than solicitors for providing expert legal opinions.

In conclusion, seeking a second opinion can be a wise investment in your future, potentially leading to a better outcome and more satisfaction with your divorce proceedings.

If you’re feeling unsure about your current legal advice, consider reaching out for a second opinion.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes.

We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.